That's exactly when is the perfect time to give back. Yes, at the point where you feel, you have hit rock bottom. Everything is against you and possibly everyone left you. This is when you feel that you cannot give anything to anyone. You feel like a used piece of tissue - wet, dirty and useless.
The key to get unstuck of your misery, is to start giving in your weakest moment.
Life works on faith. You must have faith in life. You got to have faith in yourself. And you need to give out, what you want more of in your life. This is not due to some magic law of attraction. Rather because you transform your ENERGY.
Everything runs on energy.
Everything is either attracted to or repulsed by energy. There is nothing more powerful to tell your message than being able to send out the energy of the person you want to be on a soul-level. When you are it, you need not cover-up supposed flaws and slick-talk people, telling them what you are all about. There is NOTHING more boring than hearing someone go on and on and on about how talented, how charming, how truly accomplished they are, because if they need to tell it, they are not being it. They are still only trying to be it. Their ENERGY is off. And people around you notice that, whether conscious or not - it shows in whether they stick around or skip out during your monologue.
The energy that we send out is what cause instant attraction to happen.
It is so primal yet deeply sophisticated as it bypasses our rational thinking. We know within an instant - this feels right, we like that (thing/person/whatever). Instant attraction to anything or any person is incredibly powerful. Every cell in our body just resonates with that energy and notice it immediately.
Now I know some of you are thinking, "dude, you have no clue what I am going through right now". Maybe your spouse left you. Maybe you couldn't handle work anymore. Maybe you couldn't finish school.
Whatever your obstacle, matters not.
What matters is there is always a way out. And the key to get unstuck, when you are so stuck in your own head, and you are seemingly in too deep, is to start giving.
Addictions and eating disorders are very selfish diseases.
Yes, I know you're hurting. We all hurt. Yes, I know no one understands you. Because no one understands anyone, unless they've been in their exact shoes. Get over it, or spend your life trying to get everyone to walk in your shoes - and try to get the empathy and oftentimes the green card to continue to feed your addiction because of how tough it is to be you.
Is that what you want out of all your whining - to get a green card to continue to commit suicide?
Because that's what we do, when we self-destruct with bad habits. Here's the thing. When we give back, we get out of our head and focus on something else. We begin to find meaning in a world that is chaotic and selfish. There's always a meaning with the struggles, we go through in life. Life is not random - there is a deep meaning to everything and everyone that cross your path in life.
You can choose to embrace the message or ignore it and repeat the painful pattern, until you finally give in to learning whatever it is, that the universe is trying to tell you through your struggles.
None of us like to hear that we are selfish.
We like to think of ourselves as honest, nice, caring, compassionate, affectionate, structured, disciplined and so forth.
Yet actions speak louder than words.
If we are acting out active in our addiction/eating disorder, we are only focused on our own needs, our own pain and suppressing our own feelings. Constantly looking for a way to be in this skin. That will always be draining for the people we surround ourselves with. And yes, that is very selfish.
So given that, what do you think, the message here is for you to learn? Could it be to give back, to be of service - and through that discover your life's purpose and activate your potential. God didn't create you by mistake. God makes no mistakes, only humans do.
When you give back, volunteer, you are showing up as your true self in this world.
You are giving in spite of that you feel, that you have nothing to give. You are acknowledging that you are not the center of the universe, even though it may feel like all the sorrows in the world are on your shoulders right now. And where focus goes, energy flows. So instead of focusing so intensely every day on what you don't want in your life, focus on what you want to become and not all your pains and shortcomings. You got to toss out all the crap-talk of how you can't do this and this. Fact is, there is always a way. Question is: are we willing to do what it takes? Few of us ever ask that question, we just avoid it and excuse ourselves with "can't", when the real answer is "I just don't want to do what it takes" . You need to get real with yourself. Stop masking your life up with bad excuses and accept that stage you are at. If you are not ready to take the next step right now, at least be honest with yourself and accept it. Then perhaps later, you might be up for start walking the talk, instead of living in a dis-empowering lie.
There is so much beauty and wisdom in the pain once you embrace the lessons of life.
When you fall deep, your light becomes brighter once you rise, because you grow stronger, more authentic and more you. We need more people who are able to show up in this skin and be there for other people. We need more people who are compassionate, empathetic, caring and wise - we already have enough intelligent yet self-absorbed narcissists in this world - IQ test and Selfies are so last season. We need to connect with our EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and develop a sense of wisdom so that we can make WISE and caring choices that support ourselves and other people. Little good is a high IQ is we make poor choices with it - which many of us do. In fact, it is known that most people with high IQ go through the most struggles in life in their search for meaning in a world that is seemingly without.
The key to navigate in this world is thus not higher IQ, more money, more beauty, more youth - it is, wisdom.
Wisdom to know what you can change and what you cannot. Wisdom to unerstand how your choices affect other people.
People are dying for the need to FEEL something.
To feel that someone CARES. That there is something more to this word than instagram likes and skinny jeans.
So the lesson here is that you are picked by the universe to give back, to serve and to show up in this skin, so that other people can begin to feel again.
Yes, your pain from your struggles, the light you gain by going through it, helps other people see clearer and feel alive.
So even when you feel you have nothing to give - start giving. Trust me, you have so much more to give, when you have been forced to kiss the dirt and yet continue to crawl, walk and eventually fly.
How To Start This Step?
- This week I want you to commit to volunteering 1 x weekly, no excuse
- Decide whether you feel more comfortable with an animal shelter, old people's home, prison visitor or perhaps volunteering for the red cross or some other nature.
- After 2 days of thinking about which type of volunteering, that you are more drawn to, make a decision and call. And if you are not drawn to any, then pick the first mentioned, end of story. Do not overanalyze this. You are not running for president here. This is about action steps every week to get your life back on track. Addictive thinking typically wants you to overanalyze everything and find an excuse, why the timing is not quite right and the option is not quite right and yadayadayada. I don't want to hear it. Your friends don't want to hear it. Your family sure as heck don't want to hear it anymore. And you don't really want to hear it either. Stop talking and start walking. Just do it.
- While you are adding new steps every week or elaborating on prior steps already taken, it is important, that you continue to act on steps from previous weeks. Do not forget your structure. Ideally write your steps down on a piece of paper with the title:
My Body+Soul Thrive Factors
- Every morning start my day with 11 minutes meditation to the mantra Sat Narayan
Write each step from ElementsOfRecovery in bullet-points as you add on to the previous step.
Now put this piece of paper on your fridge or bathroom mirror. Tacky I know, but rather tacky than self-destructive, so just do it, and get over yourself. This is not about you anymore, this is about what you can do for other people - what you can give back. When we are stuck in addictions and eating disorders, we are way too busy in the mememe mindset, because we are hurting so very deeply. It is understandable, but now is the time to move on. To move beyond shame, guilt, lies, and selfish wants.
Give back and everything you ever wanted will come to you.
Give back to start discovering that yes, you are of value. Yes, you are more than your shell. Yes, you have a place and someone needs you there. You are not a waste, God didn't make you by mistake.
You are perfect in this skin you are in.
But you still need to take action. So move it. This week, your action step is to start giving back by volunteering 1 x weekly - choose your cause and a time that works for you. There is no excuse not to. Cut out the TV, the Facebook time or the time you just feel sorry for yourself.