ELEMENTS OF RECOVERY

How to break food, drug and alcohol addictions, bite by bite.

Apathy.

March 25, 2021 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anxiety, Self-Worth, Stress Tools, Transformation Keys, Trauma + Abuse

The lack of any emotional attachment has become the golden standard of today's societal demands. Seemingly in contrast to the political-correctness movement which gets offended by all and sundry, we also live in a time, where we are supposed to be "cool" with everything - cool with every type of douche-bag behavior. We are supposed to pretend like, “hey, I didn't even notice” - like, “I am so cool, you can't even get to me”. And that, right there, is the issue. When we give in to this nonsense apathetic BS pattern, we lose. Not only do we lose ourselves and our standards of how we are willing to be treated, we become liars. Everyone knows, yet we all pretend, that we are all so goddamn fine with these sick no-standard standards. We don't date anymore: we hang out. We don't wait anymore: we hook up. We don't talk anymore: we text. We don't feel anymore: we have sex, we do drugs, we eat too much, too little, or we purge our food and emotions up.

The real secret to getting what we want.

February 15, 2018 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Management, Faith

Most of us are busy trying not to get rejected. When we don't risk rejection, we blend into the many shades of depressing gray that makes up the sky of hazy february. Greatness is standing out. Greatness is daring rejection. Only what I give to you can I have myself. The spiritual field is opposite that of the material. And this is the key. Instead of wanting, we need to create abundance from a mustard grain of faith. If I want kindness, I need to be it. If I want love, I need to give it.Everything is faith based in the spiritual realm and nothing is ours til we give it freely.

Return of investments.

January 23, 2018 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Self-Worth, Transformation Keys

If we have unrequited affection for someone it is emotional masochism. You cannot love someone who doesn't love you - that is merely obsession and infatuation at best. And well, at worst, we are busy realizing our childhood trauma of never feeling good enough, lovable and so forth. Why we unconsciously seek out people who will confirm our automated negative selv-talk. And because we are comfortable with our own trashtalk and believe this to be true about ourselves - that we are not worth it - we stay, we endure and hang on like a cat to the curtain tails. It is painfully pathetic.

The sweet addiction of victimization.

December 14, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Body Image, Anxiety, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Trauma + Abuse

I can't stand the #metoo campaign sweeping over us at the moment. It is toxic to both men and women alike. And I absolutely do not feel empowered as a female by this sort of feminist-wannabe campaign. On the contrary, I feel victimized, disempowered, pathetic and weak. I feel as if I am literally being brainwashed into believing, I cannot say no to anyone challenging my standards.

The feedback-loop

August 24, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Body Image, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Self-Worth, Transformation Keys

We mirror people we like, as it shows them that we respect them and also a certain level of admiration. If their response is favorable to us mirroring them, then they will also typically mirror us. This makes us feel like we are in rapport. We feel safe. This may not necessarily be the case - especially if we are both being people pleasing.

Drowning.

August 17, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Management, Faith

It is a funny thing in life. Oftentimes we spend so much time in the mud, that we think we are drowning. When the only thing we need to do is to stand up. The water is rarely more than an inch and yet we lie facedown, drowning in only an inch of water and dirt. It often doesn't require much to change the path we are on, if it leads to nowhere. Yet in our mind we make it out to be quicksand. How do we save each other when we can't even master the simple task of saving ourselves? How do we experience the freedom we so long for, if we constantly choose to remain in the chains that comes with addiction? Why do we make things so complicated, when fact is, we always have the option to just stand up and walk away. Walk away from what doesn't serve us anymore. And yet, how many of us ever look up to see that there is another way than how we have been living our life in denial? Imagine if breaking the chains of addiction was as simple as standing up and walking away. And maybe it is - when we want something bad enough, we will find a way - we will make a way. Faith is the only thing that separates us.

You're so needy!

August 10, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Self-Worth

There are generally two types of people when it comes to neediness. There are those of us who pretend to not have any needs, not need anyone, to be completely and utterly self-reliant. Lies. And then there are those of us, who are constantly demanding some sort of "hit" to feel validated. Please like me.

Forgettable.

August 02, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Transformation Keys, Self-Worth, Faith, Intimacy

"You can't forget anything that hurt so badly...(...) It's not possible to forget anybody you have destroyed." - James Baldwin from Another Country 1962. I was reading this tidbit of a snippet taken out of context just the other day. It struck me how many things we may think are "forgettable" but indeed they leave forever imprints.

"I can't reject you, you're too quick for me", she said.

July 27, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Transformation Keys

In the movie Pay It Forward there is a scene where Helen Hunt says to Kevin Spacey, "I can't reject you, you're too quick for me". Kevin Spacey has some emotional stuff from his past that causes him to have intimacy issues with getting close to anyone incl. Helen. I thought this was a poignant reminder of how we tend to unconsciously exhibit the very behavior towards ourselves - and quite often also towards others - that we fear the most.

What does addiction look like?

July 20, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anorexia, Anxiety, Binge Eating, Body Image, Bulimia, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Management, Transformation Keys

Sometimes we think that addiction is the stereotype presented to us in movies. We see the husband that suddenly goes bankrupt and his beautiful wife leaves him. So he is left in the gutter with stubbles and a bottle of Jack. We also see the drug addict as the person with one too many tattoos, portrayed as scarily gaunt, getting their money from shady business and spending their weekends at raves. These stereotypes are not what addiction usually looks like. Many addicts are high-functioning. Addiction is incredibly common amongst CEOs and people who need to keep up the pace of a life that is based on money, power and relentless ambition. Someone who is high-functioning will still have a job, maintain relationships and have their money matters in order. The high-functioning addict will appear to have their life together.

Oversharing, overcaring.

July 12, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anxiety, Transformation Keys, Self-Worth

In a time where there are no limits to what people will post online about their private life in order to try to be unique, impressive, fascinating, attractive, gain validation and whatnot, the most simple way to actually be unique is to avoid the trap of oversharing.

Let's all be nice and be political correct assholes.

June 14, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Transformation Keys, Self-Worth

The absolute worst kind of asshole, is the political correct asshole. I cannot stand this political correct nonsense that is sweeping over us like a summerwind at the moment. There is nothing worse than when we play the passive-aggressive card. It's like we won't even admit we are being assholes and then we blame someone else for our own misfortune. It's complete nuttiness. It stunts our growth because we get stuck in this victimization mindset. Most of us have had a point in our life - at the bare minimum - when we played the victim, until we realized that the only common denominator in every single one of our interactions and circumstances - well, that was us, ourselves, you, me, myself and I. And if we had just an ounce of common sense - which by the way is not very common - then we decided then and there to stop the whining and rather solve whatever needed to be solved. I don't believe we all can or should get along with each other. But I do believe we should all respect each other's differences of opinions.

After the break-up.

June 07, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Intimacy, Transformation Keys

So last week we went through 4 celebs that struggled addiction and found recovery. Well, it's not a secret that Jon Hamm went through a breakup with his longtime girlfriend in 2015. In his recent interview with InStyle he states that, "being single sucks". This being 2 years post his breakup, he is going through some tough stuff no doubt. Considering Jon Hamm's past issues with addiction, it's times like these that will show whether he has come out on the other side or not. He is such a brilliant actor so let's hope so. Anyone who's gone through a breakup regardless of being okay with separating ways and all, still knows what type of unavoidable nutty trainwreck you turn into in the time following. Yeah no, that's never fun. Add to that addicts have a very low pain tolerance level and you got yourself a nice little relapse setting.

Medication-Assisted Treatment for addiction - does it work?

May 31, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Biochemistry Balancing, Depression, Emotional Management

Substituting one addiction for another does not break the fundamental chains of addiction. It is well-known in the addiction field, that if we do not master to rewire our brain to find new paths of pleasure, relapse is only a feeling away.

We cannot drug our way out of addiction.

That said, instead of going cold-turkey (which taps right into our black-white addictive thinking), it might prove very useful to take it step-by-step and beginning our journey into recovery by substituting our primary drug of choice for a secondary. Substitution can be an important player in helping us not getting overwhelmed by the intense withdrawal that often leave us completely drained, lethargic and quite often suicidal. But what does the science say about medication-assisted treatment for addiction?

4 Surprising Celebrities That Struggled Addiction

May 24, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anorexia, Binge Eating, Bulimia, Depression, Transformation Keys

Addiction has become epidemic - it knows no face, race or gender. And no one is too rich, too smart or too good-looking to escape its claws. Read on to find out which 4 surprising celebs struggled and overcame addiction.

Nutrient deficiencies that make you ANXIOUS!

May 11, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Anxiety, Biochemistry Balancing, Depression

Anxiety is a chemical reaction in the body. This reaction becomes chronic regardless of our psychological toolbox, if we are deficient in some core nutrients involved in the production of the calming neurotransmitter called GABA. Click on to read more about nutrients involved in feeling anxious.

Cayenne kills pain

May 03, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Digestion, Natural Medicine, Superfoods In Recovery, Natural Pain-Killers

Last week we talked about the dangers of opioids and how this is the last resort for pain management. There are quite a few other options that have actually been shown to be just as efficient as opioids against pain and with no nasty side effects. One such is the hot chili pepper. The reason cayenne works for pain is due to its contents of capsaicin. The endorphin rush capsaicin triggers makes this compound an effective remedy for pain.

The most addictive prescription medication (AVOID)

April 26, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions

Addiction affects about 26 percent of those using opioids for chronic non-cancer pain; 1 in 550 patients on opioid therapy dies from opioid-related causes within 2.5 years of their first prescription. In 2014, prescription drug overdoses, a majority of which involved some type of opioid, killed more Americans than car crashes (49,714 compared to 32,675). There are safer ways to tackle pain. It is simply due to uneducated health care that we are using opioids as our primary painkiller. Opioids should never be used for anyone who has a history with addiction, as it is one of the most difficult meds to wean off of and super deadly at that. Reference: Forbes 2016: Drugs Are Killing More Americans Than Road Crashes

It is not our duty to be attractive to society.

April 19, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Transformation Keys, Emotional Management

Often we think of addiction as if there is something wrong with us. As if somehow we are just not made for this life. As if somehow we have not been equipped to deal with the pain, the hurt, the losses and whatever else, we inevitably will encounter through a lifetime in this fragile, paper-thin skin we are in. I don't think that's the case. People who struggle with addiction are not broken. Those of us who struggle with addiction are simply reacting to the many facades and masks, that we tend to wear to fit into a sick society.

Please like me.

April 13, 2017 by Christina Santini in Addictions, Emotional Management, Eating Disorders, Intimacy, Transformation Keys

One of the most freeing things in life is to be able to discover other people for what they are, without worrying about whether they like us. However, few of us are willing to like someone without there being a clear indication that the other party will like us back. That's risk-avoidance behaviour and ultimately not very satisfactory - because we hold back how we feel to avoid rejection.