break free from disordered eating, addiction, or destructive cycles — and step into lasting clarity.
We live in a time of the performative arts. Even if we never auditioned for acting school, social media has cast us all into roles. Platforms reward performance over presence. And we’ve built a stage where everyone’s performing, just not everyone knows they’re doing it.
Read MoreIt’s the rush of flying down Highway 101, top down, hair untamed by the wind.
It’s carving through Venice skatepark, weaving past the Peter Pan crowd who refuse to grow up.
It’s sprinting barefoot along the shoreline, salt water biting at your calves, the ocean daring you to go faster.
It’s the warm sun-rays against the nape of your neck on a warm Summer day.
It’s holding an animal close to your heart and feeling its little breath on your skin. Having complete trust that you will take care of it forever. And we promise we will do so, forever. We promise - and hold tighter.
Read MoreIn a world where self-promotion is currency, we rarely ask what it’s costing us.
And chances are, you struggle with it too. It’s an addiction I despise, and yet one I have to check myself for every once in a while as well. It’s far too easy to get sucked into the validation trap.
Read MoreYou can’t transform what you keep at arm’s length. Real change only happens when you fully inhabit where you are, not where you wish to be. The obsession with constant goal-setting, with “what’s next,” keeps us from absorbing the lessons right in front of us. Until we learn what this moment is here to teach, we’ll keep looping through the same patterns. Progress isn’t blocked by circumstance, but by our refusal to engage with the present.
Read MoreThe lack of any emotional attachment has become the golden standard of today's societal demands. Seemingly in contrast to the political-correctness movement which gets offended by all and sundry, we also live in a time, where we are supposed to be "cool" with everything - cool with every type of douche-bag behavior. We are supposed to pretend like, “hey, I didn't even notice” - like, “I am so cool, you can't even get to me”. And that, right there, is the issue. When we give in to this nonsense apathetic BS pattern, we lose. Not only do we lose ourselves and our standards of how we are willing to be treated, we become liars. Everyone knows, yet we all pretend, that we are all so goddamn fine with these sick no-standard standards. We don't date anymore: we hang out. We don't wait anymore: we hook up. We don't talk anymore: we text. We don't feel anymore: we have sex, we do drugs, we eat too much, too little, or we purge our food and emotions up.
Read MoreIf we have unrequited affection for someone it is emotional masochism. You cannot love someone who doesn't love you - that is merely obsession and infatuation at best. And well, at worst, we are busy realizing our childhood trauma of never feeling good enough, lovable and so forth. Why we unconsciously seek out people who will confirm our automated negative selv-talk. And because we are comfortable with our own trashtalk and believe this to be true about ourselves - that we are not worth it - we stay, we endure and hang on like a cat to the curtain tails. It is painfully pathetic.
Read MoreWe mirror people we like, as it shows them that we respect them and also a certain level of admiration. If their response is favorable to us mirroring them, then they will also typically mirror us. This makes us feel like we are in rapport. We feel safe. This may not necessarily be the case - especially if we are both being people pleasing.
Read MoreThere are generally two types of people when it comes to neediness. There are those of us who pretend to not have any needs, not need anyone, to be completely and utterly self-reliant. Lies. And then there are those of us, who are constantly demanding some sort of "hit" to feel validated. Please like me.
Read More"You can't forget anything that hurt so badly...(...) It's not possible to forget anybody you have destroyed." - James Baldwin from Another Country 1962. I was reading this tidbit of a snippet taken out of context just the other day. It struck me how many things we may think are "forgettable" but indeed they leave forever imprints.
Read MoreIn a time where there are no limits to what people will post online about their private life in order to try to be unique, impressive, fascinating, attractive, gain validation and whatnot, the most simple way to actually be unique is to avoid the trap of oversharing.
Read More"Don't eat that. Stop.", he said as he smacked the back of her hand, reaching for the bread basket. Oh man. I wish I was making this stuff up. But no. A very good friend of mine from New York dated this guy for 2 - not minutes, hours, days, weeks or, heck, even months but 2 full years. Now this may seem like an innocent little thing to say. Although I think I would bite the hand of any person trying to keep me away from the bread basket.
Read More"If you develop an eating disorder when you are skinny to begin with, you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not skinny to begin with, you are a success story."How low have our standards of success gotten? So low that means of self-destruction are celebrated. It is sad that we accept this type of imprisonment, but fact is - we are the only ones who can stop allowing it to happen.
Read MoreThe absolute worst kind of asshole, is the political correct asshole. I cannot stand this political correct nonsense that is sweeping over us like a summerwind at the moment. There is nothing worse than when we play the passive-aggressive card. It's like we won't even admit we are being assholes and then we blame someone else for our own misfortune. It's complete nuttiness. It stunts our growth because we get stuck in this victimization mindset. Most of us have had a point in our life - at the bare minimum - when we played the victim, until we realized that the only common denominator in every single one of our interactions and circumstances - well, that was us, ourselves, you, me, myself and I. And if we had just an ounce of common sense - which by the way is not very common - then we decided then and there to stop the whining and rather solve whatever needed to be solved. I don't believe we all can or should get along with each other. But I do believe we should all respect each other's differences of opinions.
Read MoreI was grabbing the metro the other day. And as it so often happens, everyone makes their way in one big mass and stops right in front of the metro doors, not really allowing people to get out, before they push their own way in. One of the truly most mind-boggling behaviors. And I swear, it must be the same people who never pick up their dog shit either, so the streets now look more like a public restroom for the four-legged than anything fit for humans.
Read MoreWe tend to shape our future by constantly looking in rear mirror. This, essentially means that our past keeps running on repeat - just in different shapes and forms. When we are battling any type of addiction, we will want to understand a couple things in order to prevent dabbling between different self-destructive patterns.
Read MoreHow many times do you find yourself in the same situation, just differences faces and different spaces? If your answer is more than 3 times, you might want to consider what the shared feature of each situation is.
Read MoreAnd every symptom brings with it a lesson. Until we learn the lesson, the symptom remains. So instead of attacking it, we need to create space to understand what it is, that we are supposed to learn from this symptom. Many of us have this idea, that any body fat is a bad thing. Body fat has an essential role for optimal health and absolutely crucial for female mental health and hormone balance. So when we talk about weight being a symptom, we are talking about a fat percentage below 21% for females or above 30%. For men it is a health concern, if it drops below 14% or rises over 25%.
Read MoreWe tend to think of spiritual practice as something very isolated - something where we engross ourselves in ourselves even more. It easily becomes a thin veil for narcissism and spiritual materialism - nurturing fanatic views and black-white thinking even further.
Read MoreWhen we break things, we do so only when we replace them with other things. The key to this is to understand WHAT to replace unwanted behaviors with, otherwise it becomes a willpower struggle that will not last in the long run. Humans do not run on willpower very long - it is just not sustainable.
Read MoreIn this TED talk, poet Shane Koyczan talks about the perception of beauty. It is hauntingly, heartbreakingly beautiful. The essence being, how we need to understand that our words... the way we speak.... is what sets off every other domino effect in the world... in our own and other people's lives. Our choice of words has lasting impact on our own sense of self and those that cross pur path. Yet, we often find ourselves using words so carelessly... as if it's only words. Only words.
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