Do you know WHY you want to change your behavior?
This may seem like a ridiculous question. "Of course I know why", you might be thinking, and if so - great. What is your main reason for wanting to change now? Think about it and list your reasons, because if you can't be to-the-point of WHY you want change, you are not going to do what it takes to get there.
A lot of us have wishes, but without action, nothing.
And if our actions are not driven by emotions, that we can FEEL in our heart, there will be a dissonance between our heart and brain. This means that we will constantly struggle to move forward. This is the science of Heart Math (I strongly recommend you check out the Heart Math Institute on research and findings in this area - super fascinating). Heart Math is the science of how our heartfelt emotions directly influence our brain waves, overall health and rational thinking.
Our heart is the master of the body, mind + soul.
If you are trying to break an addiction, eating disorder etc. because of self-hatred of your current self, or because your family is pushing you, or perhaps because you think that perfect life awaits when you are clean, you are in for a harsh wake-up call and a relapse. When we do not know the reason we want change on a heartfelt level, we do not stick to the new habits, that we are trying to form to replace former self-destructive ones, simply because we run out of steam and willpower.
That is why so often, when we finally "get there", it feels hollow, because our reasons for change are not matching up with our authentic core values.
So what are authentic reasons for change? Well, they are things that do not determine your self-worth from external measures. Let me give you a few examples.
You want this change, because you are worth it.
You want this change, because you realize how your life-quality will improve longterm.
You want this change, because you want to be able to show up in this world as the best version of you.
You want this change, because you love yourself unconditionally as a human being in this skin and want to reflect that love to others.
You want this change, because you want to be of service - creating something, giving back, helping others in need.
You want this change, because you want to live up to your full potential in life.
Ideally, you should choose 3 reasons of above or something similar reflecting back to a desire coming from within, that you write down on the below flashcard and carry with you in your wallet as a constant reminder of what is driving you - and that in the end, no one or nothing can ever force you to do anything. We all have control in our life in the choices we make, the steps we take, the consequences we are willing to put up with and the risks we dare take.
Fill out below flashcards with your top 3 reasons of why you want change and take it with you in your wallet. Choose one reason per color - you may have more than 3 reasons, but just pick 3 colors at the minimum with 1 sentence/reason in each colored box.
We all need to become our own instant pocket-coach - otherwise we let the world mold us into what they need from us (money) - and you do not want to be manipulated into low self-worth and co-dependence and plastic attitudes in need of likes, weight-loss pills, Spanx and false eyelashes, and whatever else the media will tell us, that we need to be happy in this skin we are in.