In a world where self-promotion is currency, we rarely ask what it’s costing us.

Being addicted to attention might be the most widespread pandemic of our time.

And chances are, you struggle with it too. It’s an addiction I despise, and yet one I have to check myself for every once in a while as well.

Let me be clear: this isn’t about not shining. You should show up fully: as the beautiful, intelligent, radiant human you were created to be. Never dim your shine to make others feel more at ease. People who value growth will feel inspired by people who let their light shine, people who feel envious need to fix their own growth issues, rather than choosing to feel insecure around your light: this is not your problem.

But vanity for the sake of vanity is a different story. It’s what happens when we neglect our spiritual and mental needs and chase dopamine in the form of attention, likes, clicks, or validation.

Unlike other addictions, this one is rewarded. Applauded. Normalized.

You don’t get sidelined for chasing attention: in the online world you get followers. That’s exactly what makes it dangerous. We won’t admit we crave it. We won’t admit we’ve built entire identities around it. And we rarely recognize rock bottom when it comes to attention, because it doesn’t feel like collapse. But it is - when we focus on attention rather than intention - i.e. what is our soul’s purpose, we risk that:

Our energy becomes transactional.
Our personality flattens.
We attract people who want the image, not the substance.

And when they leave, we wonder why. Well, because we made ourselves easy to replace.

Attention addiction doesn’t transform us. It erases us.

A spiral into curated self-obsession. Like Narcissus staring into the reflection: we fall in love with the illusion, not the self. We trade individuality for approval. And in doing so, we become soul-empty.

We are drowning in noise designed to make us more self-absorbed. The antidote is discernment and intention. It is resisting the trap of vanity addiction.

Ask yourself:

What am I really doing this for?
Is there something worth saying?
Or am I just begging to be looked at so I can feel real?

Let’s be honest: many people aren’t expressing, they’re performing. Not necessarily because they’re shallow, but because they’re afraid they’ll be invisible if they don’t. I get it. I’ve felt that pull too. But the more we chase validation, the more we lose the very thing that makes us irreplaceable: our soul’s intent. And once we go down the validation pathway, we forget our “why”.

People who seek validation are forgettable, people who create are unforgettable. The intention behind our actions is what matters the most. Sometimes we think actions are actions, and that’s what matter. But they are not, if the intention is not aligned. Alignment is everything and sometimes we think we can mask it, but that’s not how life works, and it is easy to sniff out when alignment is off.

Every time you contort for approval, you dilute the one thing that makes you unforgettable. When you try to please everyone, you disappear. You blend in. You become noise. It’s not bold. It’s not brave. It’s quite frankly making us all look dumber and lonelier. We need people who want to add value, not applause for the sake of it. And when we feel we add value, our selfworth magically reappears. Until then, we are stuck on the hamster-wheel chasing others’ approval to exist. Let’s not do that anymore.

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Vanity addiction may not show up like a crisis but it often drives the emotional volatility, food obsession, and identity burnout I see in clients. Recovery starts by restoring your biology, re-training your dopamine response, and reconnecting with meaning that isn’t driven by image. That’s the work.

If this resonates, let’s decode your pattern. Book an appointment,