Body image issues go hand in hand with self-destructive behaviors such as addictions, cutting and eating disorders.
Most actually exit rehab and experience an ongoing battle with body image long after so-called recovery.
Body image is one of the last aspects to change and is a reflection of our inner work.
We can be "sober" but not have done any inner work - and this results in the angry addict in recovery for life. The type that always is on the edge of a relapse, because they realize they are working on sheer willpower. And that is not how humans function.
Humans have very limited amounts of willpower.
In fact, willpower is highly overrated.
Willpower per se is not a parameter of strength or character.
Those of us who put pride in saying that we are working our life based on willpower, just goes to show, that we have not mastered life skills - rather than moving with the flow, we are stuck fighting life.
We are not living in alignment with or inner calling and expressing our passion in life, rather we are busy suppressing and controlling.
Sooner or later a form of compensation happens - humans just don't run very far on willpower alone.
What we want to create is a sustainable life where we THRIVE post recovery - body, mind and soul.
Where we can finally unleash our power into something creative that makes a difference, rather than focusing all our energy on self-destruction, self-obsession and deprivation.
Our self-acceptance of self and others as human beings is directly proportional to our reconnection of body-mind-soul and living a life in alignment with our core values.
Whenever we feel lost, disconnected and lonely, it can be traced back to a lack of congruency between our values and actions.
When our actions are a reflection of external pressure points; that we simply react based on trying to fit in to a shell-focused society, then we sell our soul to the devil.
This makes us feel hollow. Never good enough. We fell fake.
Which we then try to cover up with foundation, mascara and hours paying for our "sins" on the treadmill like another rat. Perfecting our shell has become the norm - men's ABS being of higher value than their black Amex these days.
It is not easy being man nor woman when everything is measured in pounds and bodyfat%.
Yet, we all chase the same rainbow. There is no amount spent on shell-perfection that can buy us happiness.
It is a cliche, but why, then, do we still give in to it time and time again?
We still buy that new quick fix diet pill. We still take appetite suppressants, because we think something is broken in us.
This sends us the message that our body cannot be trusted. Our appetite is too big. Our craving is a sin. Our shape is not ideal. Nothing is good enough. We are dysfunctional at our core.
We create a story of how we are these out-of-control beings, where we need to monitor every morsel that pass our lips, every step we walk, every breath we take... with another gadget that disconnects us from our own sense of self. All this to be "healthy" and "in control".
All this does is, that it feeds into our sense of not being good enough.
We become obsessive, rigid and controlling - and this disconnects us from everyone including ourselves. No one knows what we need except our body.
When we disconnect from our body, we disconnect from the only opportunity we have to find happiness and peace.
Turning to food as a religion has become all too common in the name of "health".
All hail the mighty goji berry that will safe us from all evil and give eternal happiness and bliss.
Now don't get me wrong. I eat goji berries as a matter of fact. Because they are delicious on a chocolate smoothie and they take care of my adrenals. But that's it.
They are not providing me a purpose in life, nor are they deepening my relationships with other people and making me more lovable.
It's just food. It's not a religion.
Whenever I see a celebrity, doctor or another nutritionist talking about how we need to get skinny and eat this new one-size-fits-all diet type, it makes my skin crawl.
We are being sold a fake image from a sales person who is also struggling with their own body image obsession.
It just further disconnects us from our humanness and makes us feel less loved, less "enough" and taps into our collective insecurity and vanity obsession even more. It is a disgrace.
However, it becomes our responsibility to ask ourselves, what type of society we want to fit into?
Do we want to fit into a narrow, vanity and anti-aging obsessed, addicted and Botox injected society? Thanks but no thanks. Perfectionism is the lowest denominator, simply because we then disconnect from our own needs and reach for something that is anti-human.
What we are chasing can never be caught.
It is an illusion sold by someone who is chasing your money - and we buy into it, in vain trying to buy (self)love in all the wrong places.
Perfectionism is anti-human and anyone who promotes it or chases it adds further disconnect to humanity.
So today I want you to consider what type of society it is, that you are trying to fit into. Is this a society that is alignment with the values you believe at a soul level?
If not, change your actions so they reflect those that are in alignment with your values.
When our actions reflect our inner world, that sets us free - body, mind and soul.
Feeling the sense of wind beneath our wings a little bit each day for every small step we take.... til we fly.
What type of society is it you are currently trying to mold yourself into?
Are these values in alignment with your own values?
If not, it's time to stand up for yourself and stop chasing other people's hollow illusions of perfect lives, when in fact, perfectionism is always only a thin veil masking a complete sell-out.
And even though much can be said about Don Draper, I do love him for saying this.