It is a weird world we have designed today.
We have designed it - or allowed it to happen - so that we are surrounded by triggers that tap into our self-doubt, lack of self-esteem and need for outside approval.
Leading to lives based on constant validation seeking behaviors.
Not feeling good enough is normal. Hating ourselves is all too very common. And it is incredibly painful to watch the ways in which humans (self-)destruct, because they simply crave unconditional love. Yet with every breath many of us take, we do the exact opposite action needed to allow someone, anyone - including ourselves - to just love us for who we are, and not what we try to be.
The masks we put on in our attempt in vain to be lovable.
This only leading to a greater void between who we really are and the ways we act. We lose connection with our core self and deepest needs. They continue to whisper in us, regardless how many layers we put on. It matters not however much we suppress and depress who we are at the core - we can never escape our most basic needs within. It is intrinsically linked to our heartfelt craving to be seen for who we truly, really are in our most naked state of existing.
When we pretend to be something we are not, we never truly feel seen, heard, accepted nor loved.
We feel like we are running on a treadmill, going nowhere. Yet the speed keeps increasing - we must keep up. Keeping appearances. God knows anyone would need a break from that - or a drink from this madness, for that matter - if we do not consciously decide to get off before we collapse. No one can keep up forever - the only place we can live, thrive and love is when we live in the flow of life.
Being who we are meant to be, rather than trying always to be something else. There is no addict who won't return to their previous coping mechanism, if they do not master the art of being comfortable in the skin they are in. Breathing in acceptance and exhaling compassion and kindness.
When we are not transparent about who we are, we are not loved for who we are.
We can feel the hollowness in every cell and with every breath we take.
And that regardless of what our life may look like on the outside. It is loveless, it is just a glossy cover image, that is "instagramable".
When we cannot allow anyone to see our scars, we are always living in a sense of fear, fraud and failure.
When we cannot believe that we are perfectly lovable in this skin we are in, we will always be crying on the inside, because there is no love for us.
We fight, scream, yell, act out, sleep around, drink too much, hate too much, destroy others so we need not think about ourselves.
Some of us feel a temporary relief of our own pain, when we inflict pain in other people.
How heartbreakingly sad is that not: We act out in ways that hurt other people in the same way we hurt.
It is insane. It really is.
In this TED talk, poet Shane Koyczan talks about the perception of beauty. It is hauntingly, heartbreakingly beautiful.
The essence being, how we need to understand that our words... the way we speak.... is what sets off every other domino effect in the world... in our own and other people's lives.
Our choice of words has lasting impact on our own sense of self and those that cross our path.
Yet, we often find ourselves using words so carelessly... as if it's only words. Only words.